This is the type of stress thats actually good for you

This is the type of stress thats actually good for youThis is the type of stress thats actually good for youI stress, you stress, we all stress for eustress What on earth is eustress? You may have heard this mental health buzzword bandied around lately and wondered how exactly it differs from regular oldlife-is-making-me-crazy stress. But believe it or not, eustress is a kind ofstress thats actually good for us. (Yep, thats a thing.) We spoke to licensed professional counselor Amanda Ruiz, MS of PennsylvaniasThe Counseling Collectiveabout how to identify the eustresses in life - and get the fruchtwein out of them.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreDefinitionWith all we hear about stress raising blood pressure, disturbing sleep, and even bringing onearly death(yikes), it may be hard to believe theres a kind of stress that actually boosts our mental and physical health. So to unders tand eustress, you may have to dismantle some preconceived notion. Simply put, eustress is any kind of pressure in our lives that actually brings positive results.Eustress is the prototyp amount of stress that you feel when doing a positive challenge, something you feel relatively capable in completing, explains Ruiz. Happy, exhilarating events in life, like having a baby or starting a new relationship even though they feel good, create their own kind of stress on the body and brain. After all, some of the same hormones - like adrenalin and cortisol - involved in fear are also present in times of excitement. Therefore, experiencing something thrilling or challenging, such as riding a roller coaster, completing a tough project at work, or buying a new home, brings a certain kind of pressure.The benefits of eustressThis pressure, though it may technically qualify as stress, is surprisingly good for us. When we undertake something difficult, its an opportunity for personal growth, wh ether we succeed or fail. And change, a common source of stress, adds a bit of spice to life. Eustress keeps life exciting, says Ruiz. Without it, you might become bored, complacent, and lack motivation.Plenty of research has looked at the dramatic effects of positive versus negative stress. Theright balance of stresshas been shown to increase alertness and cognitive performance, as well as keep us more adaptable. A2015 studyfound that people with high levels of good stress had less fatigue in the morning and throughout the day than those who experienced distress (AKA negative stress). Andanother, conducted on college students, found a connection between the level of eustress and overall life satisfaction.When is it eustress and when is it destress?So when is itdistress and when is iteustress? Typically, distress makes us feel anxious and overwhelmed. Eustress, on the other hand, brings a feeling of excitement, accomplishment, or a challenge accepted. (The eu comes from a Greek word meaning good, well, pleasant, or true, as in euphoria.) Making cuts to your budget, for example, could be a distress if its a struggle to make ends meet - or could be a positive if its to save for your spring break trip to Italy. If you feel competent to cope with the stressful event, then you are most likely experiencing eustress, says Ruiz. If you doubt your ability to cope with it, and instead if feels unpleasant, then its probably distress.Turning distress into eustressFeel like most of the stressors in your life are the kind that bring you down? Theres hope Your mindset could go a long way toward actually transforming circumstances you perceive as distress into eustress. A2013 studyfound that subjects thoughts about their own stress had a major impact on their physical experience of it. In one module of the study, subjects were interviewed about whether they found life stressors to be enhancing or debilitating. In another, they were shown videos that framed the concept of str ess as either one of these two descriptors. All told, people who were able to think of their stress as having potential benefits had less negative physical responses to it.To get the most out of any stressful situation, try to keep an open mind to how pressures might lead to personal growth. And, regardless of the circumstances, finding aself-care practicethat works for you can keep stress at manageable levels. Learning good stress management techniques can be helpful so you are adequately equipped to cope while going through any stressor, says Ruiz.This article originally appeared on Brit + Co.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people

The No-Excuses Way to Submit an Error-Free Resume

The No-Excuses Way to Submit an Error-Free ResumeThe No-Excuses Way to Submit an Error-Free ResumeThe No-Excuses Way to Submit an Error-Free ResumeAn author wouldnt publish a book without involving an editor, and a job landseeker shouldnt publish their resume without involving a proofreader or four. You have no excuse for submitting an error-filled resume to potential employers when you can so easily get others to check it first.Here are a few ways to get feedback from othersSend an emailConvert your resume to a web pagePrint and distributeSend an email. If the people you trust to review your resume and cover letter are all accessible by email, then this is a good way to send your documents. Give them a heads up that youll be sending an email with attachments, and find out which format (Word, Text or PDF) theyd prefer to open. While youre at it, send a copy to yourself to see what it looks like to an email recipient.Another great alternative is to...Convert your resume to a web page . No, you dont have to have any special skills to do this. Its actually one of the easiest ways to let friends see your resume, though many dont think of it as an option. Of course, you have to know where and how to create a free web page out of your document. If you have a Resume membership, you can just open the resume and click the Web button. Yahoo HotJobs also gives you the ability to turn your resume into a standalone web page, if you have an account and use the site to apply to jobs online. Once you have a web resume, all you have to do is send the link to your friends for them to view on their own time.Or, you could always go the old-fashioned route and...Print and distribute by hand. When your ideal proofreaders are nearby, you need do nothing more than print your documents and hand them over. This option is also a good fallback for those who arent so good with computers (and when youre not in a rush to get feedback).If youre not 100% confident in one persons ability to spo t errors, send your resume and letter to a few different people. Unlike applying to jobs, this shotgun method is very effective for getting your documents successfully proofread. And while theyre searching for typos, you might as well ask if theyll examine the content for ultimate impact, too.

10 More Phrases to Never, Ever Use at Work

10 More Phrases to Never, Ever Use at Work10 More Phrases to Never, Ever Use at Work Professional communication can feel like a careful balancing act. You want to keep up with the latest business jargon , but you dont want to step on anyones toes in the process.We already covered some outdated terms and clichs in our last post on the subject . Now were taking on some phrases that may seem innocuous, or even helpful- until you think about what message theyre really sending.For your edification (and your next promotion), here are ten more words and phrases you should never use at work.Its easy to kalendertag this catchall phrase onto the end of your emails , but it doesnt translate into action. If you want results, take some initiative.Incorrect Let me know when youre free to meet.Correct Im available to meet on Wednesday at 100 p.m. or 300 p.m. Which time works for you?Incorrect Let me know how I can help.Correct Ill call Kevin to get an estimate for you.Someone wh o looks tired already knows - you dont need to point it out. And since this phrase is synonymous with you look terrible, dont expect a positive response.If you notice someone seems tired and youre genuinely concerned for them, try one of these phrases on for sizeHeres a tip Grammarly runs on powerful algorithms developed by the worlds leading linguists, and it can save you from misspellings, hundreds of types of grammatical and punctuation mistakes, and words that are spelled right but used in the wrong context - learn more .You may be using just to soften the tone of your message, but it could communicate that what youre saying isnt especially important.Removing just from your vocabulary conveys confidence in your actions. If you know what you need, go ahead and ask for it.Incorrect Sorry to bother you, I just want to check in on your progress on the report due tomorrow.Correct Hows progress on the report coming along? I look forward to reviewing it tomorrow.Its time to let the security blanket go. These qualifying phrases may feel safe, but theyre undermining your credibility. Constantly using I think communicates a lack of confidence in your ideas and abilities. Instead, ditch the qualifiers and make assertive statements likeWe all hate to feel injustice, but how you respond to difficult circumstances is your choice.Instead of pouting, channel that frustration into useful action. What can you do to address the issue? Use facts rather than feelings to argue your case.Incorrect Its not fair that Kevin gets to go to the conference instead of me.Correct Ive put in over 20 hours creating this presentation and am the most comfortable talking about the material. It makes sense for me to be the lead presenter at the conference.Who doesnt love the inside scoop? (Especially about Kevin.) But gossiping at work is in poor taste, and could have negative consequences for your career.If you feel the need to vent, do your kvetching with a non-work friend. And if yo u have a conflict with someone, talk to them directly - or, if appropriate, talk with your companys human resources department.So, will you do what I requested or not? Instead of using this wishy-welcheshy phrase, boost your coworkers confidence in you by clearly setting expectations.Were all adults. No matter whose fault it is, youll get more respect if you explain the situation in a professional manner .Take responsibility for your own actions, and explain the mistakes of others without throwing them under the bus. And be honest about what was and wasnt outside of your teams control.Its natural to fear the critique of others , but using this qualifier imposes a negative lens on your thoughts before your audience has a chance to evaluate your statement for themselves.Instead of self-sabotaging, practice stating your ideas with confidence.I have an idea for our next project. Its different from what we usually do, and I think this could give us some new results.By all means, apologi ze when youre accepting responsibility for an error youve made . But lets take a moment to think about how woefully overused this little word is.Incorrect Im sorry, but could you have the presentation ready by noon?Correct Ill need the presentation ready by noon so well have time to review it. I greatly appreciate your work on this.Incorrect Sorry Im late to our meeting.Correct Thank you so much for waiting. Lets get startedIncorrect Sorry, I wont have the article ready on time.Correct Ill need to postpone the article until Thursday. Two of my interviewees werent available until today.This article was originally published on Grammarly. It is reprinted with permission.

How to Set a Daily Schedule

How to Set a Daily ScheduleHow to Set a Daily ScheduleTheres never enough time to get everything done. Does that sound familiar? You cant create mora hours in the day because everyone is stuck in the usual 24 hours. But, you can get more out of each hour by making your time count. That doesnt mean working 18 hours a day, either. The trick is to plan ahead. Sit down the night before and plan out your activities for the next day. It will let you identify exactly what your priorities are at any given time. Youll be amazed by how much more you can get done if you always know what you should be doing now and what can wait until a little bit later. Prioritizing is a key part of time management. When you first try planning your day, you may have a hard time deciding which items on your to-do list are the most important. Sometimes it seems like everything is crucial. But with practice, it will become easier for you to determine which items are truly critical, which are merely important, and which are optional to complete that day or can be put off to another day. Heres How Create a list of everything you want to get done tomorrow. Include everything, not just work-related functions. If you need to take the dog to the vet or drop a package off at the post office, add those tasks to the list as well.Ask yourself, Which items on this list will have the biggest positive impact on my life if I get them finished tomorrow? Circle those items and write 1 next to each of them.Pick out your second, third and fourth most critical items and label them accordingly.Now start a new list. Write down exactly what times you intend to spend working on your four highest-priority tasks. You dont have to put them in order or make them your first activities of the day, but youll be able to ensure that youll get them done if you make an appointment with yourself to accomplish each of them. Block out a reasonable amount of time for each task. Fill in tomorrows schedule with the rest of you r activities. This schedule doesnt have to be set in stone. You might end up shifting things around as new tasks come up and old ones lose their urgency.Bring your schedule with you and post it someplace where you can easily see it as you work. If you need to make radical changes, you can pencil things out or shift the schedule around. Some More Tips Setting a schedule and sticking to it is only half the battle. You need the energy and drive to tackle that to-do list and to accomplish it to the best of your ability. Good time management begins with a few measures you can take even before you begin setting a daily schedule. Make sure you get enough sleep. According to the Mayo Clinic, a healthy adult who is not pregnant requires from seven to nine hours of sleep per night to be at their best the next day.No is not a dirty word. You can turn down requests and demands on your time if saying yes means you wont get other things done. Lets face it If you have eight must-do items on yo ur list and eight people ask you to do just this one little thing, something is going to have to give. If youre uncomfortable with saying no, come up with a response you can live with, something like, I cant possibly get to it today, but I can probably help if you can wait until Thursday. Try an experiment before you create your daily schedule. Keep a log of what you do with your time for a few days or maybe a week. Jot each activity down in your smartphone or whatever else is convenient when youre on the go. You might be surprised at patterns you detect. It can help you identify time-drains that you can eliminate from your life, or at least reduce to manageable time spans.

The Most Popular Free Resume Templates

The Most Popular Free Resume Templates Once you have selected your perfect resume template from our selection, follow our completely free expert guidance about ways to craft the great modern resume. Be consistent in your resume, particularly regarding the resume formats which you use. Right type of format will surely help to enter the most appropriate organization. Have a peek at these examples to select which format is most suitable for you. You may also include if youve completed any Computer courses. There are a great deal of sites that offers a Resume constructor facility. Resumes dont need to be boring. Youre basically searching the world wide web but without needing to open an online webbrowser window. Ideal word jobseekers that have a multitude of information to present. Developing a resume with the aid of a template can help you become mindful of the continue areas that you ought to fill. The skills a chronological resume may not have the capacity to highlight ar e ready to be emphasized in a functional resume. A Secret Weapon for Free Resume Templates The content emanates from the center of the template. ur creative templates permit you to stick out from the crowd. Fortunately, free resume templates are available which can enhance your chances Our free resume templates allow it to be effortless to compose a professional resume that you could proudly present to any employer. Its challenging to begin a resume from scratch, which is the reason why the ideal way to go about creating one is to work off a template. The upcoming free resume template is devised in the shape of a brochure. There are three major types of resume templates. There is an assortment of templates youre in a place to use to think about the resume. The Secret to Free Resume Templates Resume templates that may be suited to your specific kind of industry can make a big difference. The content produced by resume templates and builders, nevertheless, is not intended t o be the last result. Such template permits the user to add accents which can help fill up some empty space, which makes it a good selection for new graduates. Our templates are designed to be customizable to any business and are terrific for any of the The truth is, the internet is full of so many fantastic and creative template designs that theres undoubtedly something for you out there. Only the simple fact that youre ready to prepare an expert job application for job gets you across the bulk of your main obstacles. If youre looking for work, its required to have a powerful resume however there are a number of men and women that are intimated in creating one. Before plotting the content on the resume, the applicant should earn a draft initially and list down everything which is related to applying for employment. Its extremely vital to understand the sort of resumes preferred by establishment that you would like to work for. Our resume builder is the quickest approach to c reate a resume that can help you get your fantasy job. If you discover what you believe to be the ideal job candidate, send a reply. Its possible for you to incorporate as much as you like to find the job that you want. For searching a job resume is a significant tool that is necessary. The Hidden Treasure of Free Resume Templates The template will help to be conscious of the points that are vital to be filled in the resume to acquire a special kind of job. An individual can simply pick a template dependent on the persons needs. Employing a resume template is getting an acceptable and smart practice for several factors. Employing work application template is presently a satisfactory and smart practice for many explanations. Resumizer free resume creator allows you to preview your resume at any stage in the creation approach. If youre searching to have work, its essential to have a powerful resume however there are lots of folks that are intimated in creating one. Double check to be sure that everything on the last version of the resume is about you.

The History of Writing a Professional Cover Letter for a Resume in the Bay Area Refuted

The History of Writing a Professional Cover Letter for a Resume in the bayrumbaum Area Refuted Type of Writing a Professional Cover Letter for a Resume in the Bay Area Friends and family will wonder how you got a work so quickly and youll recommend us to them after youve used us. Lots of people dont like their existing job or career. You have to routinely update your abilities and accomplishments. Focus on what you could bring to the job, and the way your talents will translate into success for the business. Start by choosing the ideal career stage above, then choose a suitable package for the depth of service you desire. Begin with your name and offer some background on your strengths. The Lost Secret of Writing a Professional Cover Letter for a Resume in the Bay Area Rates are competitive, service is quite professional, and the outcomes are unbeatable. The expenses of all the student services are extremely affordable in our company. One of the greatest ways to receive your foot in the door at an organization you would really like to work for is to mention an expert connection to one of their existing personnel. Completing work search within the San Francisco region grows more confusing with the large number of job boards. Cover letters are a fantastic means to demonstrate that you comprehend the surroundings and culture of the business and industry and show that youve got what they are searching for. You need to be able to put ideas together in a logical method. In reality, there are tons of approaches to spice this up Spending five or 10 minutes reading over the organization website before getting started can be a fantastic method to get in the correct mindsetyoull find a sense for the businesss tone, language, and culture, which are all things you are going to want to mirror as youre writing. Writing a Professional Cover Letter for a Resume in the Bay Area - Is it a Scam? Furthermore, our staff consists of graduate students who have a co uple of diplomas of higher education. Enable the professionals assist you in your mission to find work. The Nuiances of Writing a Professional Cover Letter for a Resume in the Bay Area By defining the endeavor, its possible to effectively determine the proper scope of the endeavor. The system lets you speak right to the writer whos completing your purchase. You even get to examine on your order before its completed. All the sorts of projects you order in our organization are created by experienced professors from several educational universities. Where to Find Writing a Professional Cover Letter for a Resume in the Bay Area The credentials of the author ought to be solid-the author ought to be an authority in the region the source focuses on. The source needs to be current. He should be up to date. Writing a Professional Cover Letter for a Resume in the Bay Area No Longer a Mystery Samples will provide you with a notion of what information to have in your cover letter, and the way to format the letter. A sample will be able to help you decide what things to put in your letter, and the way to format the letter. Type of Writing a Professional Cover Letter for a Resume in the Bay Area So if youre trying to find a high excellent company that is going to give you professional cover letter writing services look no further than Ultius. Possessing a well-written cover letter may be the difference between getting and not getting work which you desire. When using our exceptional cover letter writing services it is possible to be koranvers of a fantastic outcome by means of your work life. You ought to use our original cover letter services for numerous explanations. In the event your employer has supplied an unfair performance review, we will craft a properly-reasoned reaction. Herein, youve got to make sure the thesis statement is very clear and precise. Notably, the outline ought to be shaped by the conclusion you need to get there at.

Emotional intelligence 13 things mentally strong people wont do

Emotional intelligence 13 things mentally strong people wont doEmotional intelligence 13 things mentally strong people wont doWe all reach critical points in our lives where our mental strength is tested. It might be a toxic friend or colleague, a dead-end job, or a struggling relationship. Whatever the challenge, you have to see things through a new lens, and take decisive action if you want to move through it successfully.It sounds easy, but it isnt.Its fascinating how mentally strong people tischplatzdeckchen themselves apart from the crowd. Where others see impenetrable barriers, they see challenges to overcome.Too many people succumb to the mistaken belief that mental strength comes from natural, unteachable traits that belong only to a lucky few. Its easy to fall prey to this misconception. In reality, mental strength is under your control, and its a matter of emotional intelligence (EQ).When it first appeared to the masses, emotional intelligence served as the missing link in a peculiar finding people with average IQs outperform those with the highest IQs 70% of the time. This anomaly threw a massive wrench into the broadly held assumption that IQ was the most important source of success.Decades of research now point to EQ being the critical factor that sets star performers apart from the rest of the pack. The connection is so strong that 90% of top performers have high EQ.Emotional intelligence is the something in each of us that is a bit intangible. It affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions to achieve positive results.Despite the significance of EQ, its intangible nature makes it very difficult to know how much you have and what you can do to improve it if you lack it. You can always take a scientifically validated test, such as the one that comes with theEmotional Intelligence 2.0book.Unfortunately, quality (scientifically valid) EQ tests arent free, so Ive analyzed the data from the million-plus peop leTalentSmarthas tested in order to identify the behaviors that are the hallmarks of a high EQ. This data shows that what youdontdo is just as important as what you do when it comes to EQ.The beauty of EQ is that its a flexible skill that you can easily improve with effort. Absolutely anyone can enhance their EQ by emulating the habits of emotionally niveauvoll people. If youre up for it, start with these critical things that emotionally anspruchsvoll people are careful to avoid. They consciously avoid these behaviors because they are tempting and easy to fall into if one isnt careful.They dont stay in their comfort zone.Self-awareness is the foundation of EQ, and increasing your self-awareness isnt comfortable. You cant increase your EQ without pushing yourself to discover what you need to work on and what you should be doing differently. This is hard because when you take a really good look at yourself, you arent going to like everything you see. Its more comfortable to keep the b linders on, but they make certain that youll never have a high EQ.They dont give in to fear.They say that bravery is being scared to death to do something and doing it anyway. Many times, thats true, even when it comes to your career. The fear doesnt have to come from something as extreme as rushing into a burning building it can be a fear of public speaking or going out on a limb to try for a promotion. If you use fear as an excuse not to do something, youve already lost. Its not that emotionally intelligent people arent afraid- they simply pick themselves up and fight on regardless of the fear.They dont stop believing in themselves.Emotionally intelligent people persevere. They dont give up in the face of failure, and they dont give up because theyre tired or uncomfortable. Theyre focused on their goals, not on momentary feelings, and that keeps them going even when things are hard. They dont take failing to mean that theyre a failure. Likewise, they dont let the opinions of other s keep them from chasing their dreams. When someone says, Youll never be able to do that, they regard it as one persons opinion, which is all it is.They dont beg for attention.People who are always begging for attention are needy. They rely on that attention from other people to form their self-identity. Emotionally intelligent people couldnt care less about attention. They do what they want to do and what needs to be done, regardless of whether anyone is stroking their ego.They dont act like jerks.People who act like jerks are unhappy and insecure. They act like jerks because they dont have the emotional strength to be nice when they dont feel like it. Emotionally intelligent people place high value on their relationships, which means they treat everyone with respect, regardless of the kind of mood theyre in.They dont hold grudges.The negative emotions that come with holding onto a grudge are actually a stress response. Holding onto that stress wreaks havoc on your body and can hav e devastating health consequences over time. Researchers at Emory University have shown that holding onto stress contributes to high blood pressure and heart disease. Holding onto a grudge means youre holding onto stress, and emotionally intelligent people know to avoid this at all costs.They dont hang around negative people.Negative people are bad news because they wallow in their problems and fail to focus on solutions. They want people to join their pity party so that they can feel better about themselves. People often feel pressure to listen to negative people because they dont want to be seen as callous or rude, but theres a fine line between lending a sympathetic ear to someone and getting sucked into their negative emotional spiral. Emotionally intelligent people avoid getting drawn in by setting limits and distancing themselves from negative people when necessary. Think of it this way If a person were smoking, would you sit there all afternoon inhaling the second-hand smoke? Youd distance yourself, and you should do the same with negative people.They dont feel sorry for themselves.Heres the worst thing about feeling sorry for yourself, other than it being annoying, of course it shifts your locus of control outside yourself. Feeling sorry for yourself is, in essence, declaring that youre a helpless victim of circumstance. Emotionally intelligent people never feel sorry for themselves because that would mean giving up their power.They dont feel entitled.Emotionally intelligent people believe that the world is a meritocracy and that the only things that they deserve are those that they earn. People who lack EQ often feel entitled. They think that the world owes them something. Again, its about locus of control. Emotionally intelligent people know that they alone are responsible for their successes or failures.They dont close their minds.When people close their minds to new information or opinions, its typically because they find them threatening. They thi nk that admitting that someone else is right means that theyre wrong, and thats very uncomfortable for people lacking EQ. Emotionally intelligent people arent threatened by new things theyre open to new information and new ideas, even if it means admitting that they are wrong.They dont letanyonelimit their joy.When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from comparing yourself with others, you are no longer the master of your own happiness. When emotionally intelligent people feel good about something theyve done, they dont let anyones opinions or accomplishments take that away from them. While its impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, you dont have to compare yourself with others, and you can always take peoples opinions with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what other people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within. Regardless of what people think of you at any particular moment, one thing is certain- youre never as goo d or bad as they say you are.They dont get eaten up by jealousy and envy.Emotionally intelligent people understand that the happiness and success of others doesnt take away from their own, so jealousy and envy arent an issue for them. They see success as being in unlimited supply, so they can celebrate others successes.They dont live in the past.Failure can erode your self-confidence and make it hard to believe youll achieve a better outcome in the future. fruchtwein of the time, failure results from taking risks and trying to achieve things that arent easy. Emotionally intelligent people know that success lies in their ability to rise in the face of failure, and they cant do this if theyre living in the past. Anything worth achieving is going to require your taking some risks, and you cant allow failure to stop you from believing in your ability to succeed. When you live in the past, that is exactly what happens- your past becomes your present and prevents you from moving forward.B ringing It All TogetherImproving your emotional intelligence is the single most important thing you can do to advance your career. The good news is that you can make it happen with a little determination, effort, and a good model to follow.Travis Bradberry is the coauthor ofEmotional Intelligence 2.0and the cofounder ofTalentSmart.This article originally appeared onLinkedIn.Emotional intelligence 13 things mentally strong people wont doWe all reach critical points in our lives where our mental strength is tested. It might be a toxic friend or colleague, a dead-end job, or a struggling relationship. Whatever the challenge, you have to see things through a new lens, and take decisive action if you want to move through it successfully.It sounds easy, but it isnt.Its fascinating how mentally strong people set themselves apart from the crowd. Where others see impenetrable barriers, they see challenges to overcome.Too many people succumb to the mistaken belief that mental strength comes f rom natural, unteachable traits that belong only to a lucky few. Its easy to fall prey to this misconception. In reality, mental strength is under your control, and its a matter of emotional intelligence (EQ).Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreWhen it first appeared to the masses, emotional intelligence served as the missing link in a peculiar finding people with average IQs outperform those with the highest IQs 70% of the time. This anomaly threw a massive wrench into the broadly held assumption that IQ was the most important source of success.Decades of research now point to EQ being the critical factor that sets star performers apart from the rest of the pack. The connection is so strong that 90% of top performers have high EQ.Emotional intelligence is the something in each of us that is a bit intangible. It affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions to achieve positive results.Despite the significance of EQ, its intangible nature makes it very difficult to know how much you have and what you can do to improve it if you lack it. You can always take a scientifically validated test, such as the one that comes with theEmotional Intelligence 2.0book.Unfortunately, quality (scientifically valid) EQ tests arent free, so Ive analyzed the data from the million-plus peopleTalentSmarthas tested in order to identify the behaviors that are the hallmarks of a high EQ. This data shows that what youdontdo is just as important as what you do when it comes to EQ.The beauty of EQ is that its a flexible skill that you can easily improve with effort. Absolutely anyone can enhance their EQ by emulating the habits of emotionally intelligent people. If youre up for it, start with these critical things that emotionally intelligent people are careful to avoid. They consciously avoid these behaviors because they are tempting and easy to fall into if one isnt careful.They dont stay in their comfort zone.Self-awareness is the foundation of EQ, and increasing your self-awareness isnt comfortable. You cant increase your EQ without pushing yourself to discover what you need to work on and what you should be doing differently. This is hard because when you take a really good look at yourself, you arent going to like everything you see. Its more comfortable to keep the blinders on, but they make certain that youll never have a high EQ.They dont give in to fear.They say that bravery is being scared to death to do something and doing it anyway. Many times, thats true, even when it comes to your career. The fear doesnt have to come from something as extreme as rushing into a burning building it can be a fear of public speaking or going out on a limb to try for a promotion. If you use fear as an excuse not to do something, youve already lost. Its not that emotionally intelligent people arent afraid- they simply pick themse lves up and fight on regardless of the fear.They dont stop believing in themselves.Emotionally intelligent people persevere. They dont give up in the face of failure, and they dont give up because theyre tired or uncomfortable. Theyre focused on their goals, not on momentary feelings, and that keeps them going even when things are hard. They dont take failing to mean that theyre a failure. Likewise, they dont let the opinions of others keep them from chasing their dreams. When someone says, Youll never be able to do that, they regard it as one persons opinion, which is all it is.They dont beg for attention.People who are always begging for attention are needy. They rely on that attention from other people to form their self-identity. Emotionally intelligent people couldnt care less about attention. They do what they want to do and what needs to be done, regardless of whether anyone is stroking their ego.They dont act like jerks.People who act like jerks are unhappy and insecure. The y act like jerks because they dont have the emotional strength to be nice when they dont feel like it. Emotionally intelligent people place high value on their relationships, which means they treat everyone with respect, regardless of the kind of mood theyre in.They dont hold grudges.The negative emotions that come with holding onto a grudge are actually a stress response. Holding onto that stress wreaks havoc on your body and can have devastating health consequences over time. Researchers at Emory University have shown that holding onto stress contributes to high blood pressure and heart disease. Holding onto a grudge means youre holding onto stress, and emotionally intelligent people know to avoid this at all costs.They dont hang around negative people.Negative people are bad news because they wallow in their problems and fail to focus on solutions. They want people to join their pity party so that they can feel better about themselves. People often feel pressure to listen to nega tive people because they dont want to be seen as callous or rude, but theres a fine line between lending a sympathetic ear to someone and getting sucked into their negative emotional spiral. Emotionally intelligent people avoid getting drawn in by setting limits and distancing themselves from negative people when necessary. Think of it this way If a person were smoking, would you sit there all afternoon inhaling the second-hand smoke? Youd distance yourself, and you should do the same with negative people.They dont feel sorry for themselves.Heres the worst thing about feeling sorry for yourself, other than it being annoying, of course it shifts your locus of control outside yourself. Feeling sorry for yourself is, in essence, declaring that youre a helpless victim of circumstance. Emotionally intelligent people never feel sorry for themselves because that would mean giving up their power.They dont feel entitled.Emotionally intelligent people believe that the world is a meritocracy a nd that the only things that they deserve are those that they earn. People who lack EQ often feel entitled. They think that the world owes them something. Again, its about locus of control. Emotionally intelligent people know that they alone are responsible for their successes or failures.They dont close their minds.When people close their minds to new information or opinions, its typically because they find them threatening. They think that admitting that someone else is right means that theyre wrong, and thats very uncomfortable for people lacking EQ. Emotionally intelligent people arent threatened by new things theyre open to new information and new ideas, even if it means admitting that they are wrong.They dont letanyonelimit their joy.When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from comparing yourself with others, you are no longer the master of your own happiness. When emotionally intelligent people feel good about something theyve done, they dont let anyones opin ions or accomplishments take that away from them. While its impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, you dont have to compare yourself with others, and you can always take peoples opinions with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what other people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within. Regardless of what people think of you at any particular moment, one thing is certain- youre never as good or bad as they say you are.They dont get eaten up by jealousy and envy.Emotionally intelligent people understand that the happiness and success of others doesnt take away from their own, so jealousy and envy arent an issue for them. They see success as being in unlimited supply, so they can celebrate others successes.They dont live in the past.Failure can erode your self-confidence and make it hard to believe youll achieve a better outcome in the future. Most of the time, failure results from taking risks and trying to achieve things that arent easy. Emotionally intelligent people know that success lies in their ability to rise in the face of failure, and they cant do this if theyre living in the past. Anything worth achieving is going to require your taking some risks, and you cant allow failure to stop you from believing in your ability to succeed. When you live in the past, that is exactly what happens- your past becomes your present and prevents you from moving forward.Bringing It All TogetherImproving your emotional intelligence is the single most important thing you can do to advance your career. The good news is that you can make it happen with a little determination, effort, and a good model to follow.Travis Bradberry is the coauthor ofEmotional Intelligence 2.0and the cofounder ofTalentSmart.This article originally appeared onLinkedIn.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Frankl ins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people

These 4 mind tricks will help you kill it at job interviews

These 4 mind tricks will help you kill it at job interviewsThese 4 mind tricks will help you kill it at job interviewsJob interviews are a stressful situation where the stakes are high for you to deliver and impress. When youre on edge in these make-or-break scenarios, its all too easy to put your brain on autopilot and blurt out unrelated nonsense that may have your interviewer scooting away.To prevent that, we rounded up some of the best psychological mind tricks to get you in the confident and prepared headspace you need to ace an interview1) Act like youve already gotten the jobTo act confident, you need to visualize the finish line and embody the heart and soul of a winner. Thats the techniqueCapital One human resources executive Meghan Welch told Business Insider successful candidates have used.It helps if youve done the legwork to back this confidence up. Acting like youve got the job means you have solutions to questions interviewers bring up. That means preparing beforehand on questions interviewers can ask you, asking your friends to do mock interviews with you, and reading up on the company itself. When youre that prepared, it will come through in your body language.When youre acting as if you already have the role, your interviewers start to see you as a colleague more than one more candidate. For interviewers, Welch said this energy comes off as I am super excited about the aufgabe you are talking about right now and I have a whole bunch of ways I would love to solve it.Of course, you want to channel the energy of a successful job applicant, but you dont want to go overboard with it and cross the line into cocky delusion by telling your interviewer See you Monday2) Hire-me body language means mirroring your interviewerHow you deliver information can be as revealing as the information itself. Fidgeting hands, drumming fingers, and flailing gestures do not convey hire-me vibes, they expose your nerves. One of the easiest social cues to increase your hiring chances is making regular eye contact with your interviewer. Body language experts have found that when someone looks you in the eye, it indicates confidence, authority, and presence.Maintaining eye contact is basic body language knowledge. A more advanced class to take is consciously mirroring the tone, posture, mannerisms, and energy of your interviewer. Social psychologists call this the chameleon effect and have found that the mirroring increases your interviewers chances of liking you and smooths over interactions.So when your interviewer leans back, you lean back, too - but subtly. (You dont want to look like an actual mime.)3) Match what you wear to what you want to projectThe colors of what you wear to the interview signal what kind of person you are before you even open your mouth. A 2013CareerBuilder surveyof 2,000 hiring managers and human resources professionals found that colors act as mood rings - and blue was the best color you could wear to look professional .Here are the qualities the managers in the survey associated with each color Black Leadership Blue Team Player Gray Analytical White Organized Brown Dependable Red Power Orange CreativityAlthough orange signals creativity, it was also the color least liked by managers, with one in four reporting that it looked unprofessional.4) Be yourselfYou want to use these psychological tips to enhance the qualities you already have - interviewers can tell when youre being phony, and youll be penalized for it. A 2017 study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology found that candidates who have a strong drive to self-verify and present themselves authentically have a higher likelihood of success.In a job interview, we often try to present ourselves as perfect. Our study proves this instinct wrong, the studys lead author Dr. Celia Moore said. Interviewers perceive an overly polished self-representation as inauthentic and potentially misrepresentative. But ultimately, if you are a high-qual ity candidate, you can be yourself on the job market. You can be honest and authentic. And if you are, you will be more likely to get a job.

Know When Competitions Healthy in the Office - The Muse

Know When Competitions Healthy in the Office - The MuseKnow When Competitions Healthy in the Office Think about the people in your office you admire most Theyre likely ambitious, hard-working, and passionate. When you watch someone like this thriving in his or her environment, he or she will naturally encourage you to do the saatkorn. Driven people who work together will feed one anothers success, and, in the best case scenario, each member can shine and grow in his own right.When those same people are pitted against each other, something entirely different happens. An unhealthy competitive culture takes shape and with it, stress and distrust. When these are prominent in the workplace, poor performance and unnecessary conflict are almost inevitable. Your co-workers can be some of the most influential factors in your professional career. Pushing you to always improve yourself and your skills, they can help you get ahead. On the other hand, an exceedingly discouraging and toxic envir onment is one where your ideas arent heard, or, worse, are stolen. Here are some concrete ways to recognize when hard work leads to friendly competition and increased motivation- and when self-serving workplace habits lead to people fighting to be in the limelight. Competitions Healthy if Appreciation Encourages YouRemember the belastung time you were given a Great job or Amazing work on the last big project you spent weeks perfecting? Not only did it feel awesome at the time- it encouraged you to work hard next time, too. Recognizing accomplishments is often seen as an important part of celebrating both your individual achievements as well as your teams collective progress. Moreover, its a way to signal that meaningful results are valued every step of the way. When people make strides for their company, its encouraging for everyone to see that his or her efforts, along with the resulting successes, are bound to receive well-earned praise. Whats unhealthy is if those achievements ar e rewarded disproportionately, or worse, ignored entirely. That sour feeling you get every time the same person gets noticed for turning in spreadsheets on time while you sit on the sidelines feeling overlooked? Thats a problem. Appreciating people for excelling in their work should be encouraging and inspiring. But when done poorly, empty or misdirected praise can have an opposite effect.If you value your co-workers efforts and vice versa, youre most likely a part of a constructive culture that enables and empowers everyone to feel proud bringing their unique skills to the table.But Its Unhealthy if Performing Poorly Keeps You Up at NightIf there are big consequences to not performing as well as your peers- rational or not- the stress and pressure you feel could cause your work to suffer. When this becomes a regular problem, issues can manifest in a number of ways, such as with sleep deprivation, irritability and aggression, or general burnout. Think about the last time you worked on a project that felt so high-stakes that you did something drastic to produce results. Maybe the deadline was extremely urgent, for example, and you pulled an all-nighter because that was the only way to have a quick turnaround. Sure, you mightve gotten things in on time with little sleep, but the number of typos in your final presentation was embarrassing at best.Competition can drive success, but not if you lose yourself along the way. And when youre deeply caught up in what could be at stake, how could you possibly focus on anything else? A schedule so tight and uncompromising is a huge red flag You shouldnt feel like your job or reputation is at risk if you dont deliver results every single time. After all, a little flexibility and room for mistakes can be equally valuable.Competitions Healthy if Acknowledgement Is a Bonus, Not the RewardPraise is good, but it cant be everything. Even compliments will feel empty if its all youve been receiving for years of producing consistent ly great results. As Doug and Polly White write in Entreprenuer, employees need to understand how what they are doing is contributing to that success. An extremely useful form of feedback is when you are given the tools to improve. Specific and constructive criticism allows everyone on the team to continually improve going forward- with no feelings harmed in the process. Being able to think about your own growth competitively helps you compare yourself to yesterday, last month, or last year in a meaningful way. Of course, you shouldnt expect a promotion every time you get something right, and even still, thats not the only type of tangible reward out there. Skill growth and personal fulfillment ought to be pretty high up on your list of motivators- far above a public pat on the back from the CEO.Competitions Healthy if You Feel Comfortable Asking for Help So You Can ImproveIf your co-worker gave a killer presentation last week, it shouldnt feel weird asking her to quickly show you h ow she put it together. On the flipside, if your first reaction to sharing tips and tricks is feeling guarded, you should question where that suspicion comes from.In a cooperative, competitive office setting, employees should feel comfortable showcasing their skills and sharing them with those around them. Theres much to be gained from genuine collaboration. According to Alfie Kohn, author and speaker on human behavior, such an environment is highly productive in helping people to communicate effectively, to trust in others, and to accept those who are different from themselves.But Its Unhealthy if Youre So Intimidated by Your Colleagues That They Feel Like StrangersKnowing next to nothing about the people you spend 40 hours per week with is a sign that work is all there is worth talking about. When co-workers are completely closed off from one another socially, competition dominates their relationships, and the seeds of a toxic environment take root.If you couldnt care less about w ho your peers are when you all clock out and leave at the end of the day, you may be in such a place. According to Kohn, thats a recipe for hostility, and, its obviously not a pleasant situation to find yourself in. Because the definition of competition requires that very few people can win- meaning the majority of people involved will lose- you want to be careful youre not endorsing these practices in your day to day. Competitions Healthy if You Enjoy Collaborating But Insist That Your Ideas Are HeardGroup projects are a great environment for getting a temperature check on your companys competitive culture. A healthy setting- one that breeds confidence and pride in ones own abilities and ideas- encourages you to self-advocate and work in dialogue to get to a solution. On the other hand, a toxic community is one that feels stifling at best.No ones expecting you to be BFFs with the whole team, but you shouldnt be feeling jealousy or resentment toward a colleague so much so that it bl ocks the natural flow of communication. Next time youre working in a group, think about how easily- or not- youre able to contribute to the conversation. If its easy to jump in when it feels right, and to challenge one another respectfully, then yours is a team that values the process as much as it does the results.When it comes to colleagues who challenge, support, and encourage you (as opposed to ones who are only in it for themselves), competition is about collective motivation and growth more than it is about winning. And when things are especially difficult in the office, it can make all the difference to have a team you know you can fall back on.Photo of woman talking to colleague courtesy of Caiaimage/Sam Edwards/Getty Images.